This might be long...

Angel 4.
Originally uploaded by Patrick Lavin.

I got home last Thursday from a 6 day hospital stay at St Joseph's with acute pancreatitis. I started feeling really bad Saturday evening, and so Mom went ahead and took me to the ER. I was so weak I could barely walk. The shit hit the fan as I was being triaged, and an unbearable pain came over my abdomen. I must've sounded like a grunting pig.... it was hard to breathe.... i was nauseated.... couldnt lay flat... my stomach was huge and bloated......the works. The MD came right away and did his thing.... they gave me medicine and oxygen, and finally the pain eased off a bit. When the labs came back, the MD came back and pressed on my upper abdomen right beneath my boob.... and it hurt! Bingo.... acute pancreatitis. VERY painful, and not something I want to feel ever again. I went back and forth between clear, fat-free liquids and a low fat diet. Every time I ate real food, I got the unbearable pain and diarrhea. What a big, fat mess. They finally said it was caused by the Imuran I had been taking for 12 years, but the only drug thats changed has been the steroids. (I personally think its that.) I also had about 40 lbs of excess fluid on me caused by the increased steroids. I had been trying to taper down, but every time I did I got those awful "nerve attacks." Dr Knowlton was out of town AGAIN, so Dr Gowda started Lasix. I lost 15 lbs overnight on one of the nights. I also had been told I couldnt get out of bed by myself. (did you just hear me sigh?) I wish I hadnt told them I had fallen 37 times since May 15th. So anyway... I was sent home on a fat-free liquid diet for a couple of MONTHS. How about you trying to eat jello, yogurt, pudding, ice cream, and cream of rice every day. Finally, I had enough. 3 days ago, I ate 5 grams of fat without pain. The next day I had 1 gram of fat. Today, the IVIG nurse (Betty) came and were discussing diet. I'm not getting any protein, and if I dont.... my muscles are going to start breaking down. So, Mom fixed low fat, sugar-free Frenchtoast (2 slices), and I think I went to Heaven during the 10 minutes I was savoring every bite - 6.5 grams of fat. I also ate a baked potato (fat-free). My abdomen became very bloated this evening with some "pancreas tenderness" so tomorrow will be all liquids with only 1 slice of french toast. I have been watching the Food Network on TV, and I dont know if its helping or hurting!! Tomorrow is day #2 of my 5th cycle of IVIG, and I think on Friday after IVIG my PICC line gets pulled. I'll know tomorrow when Betty comes. My new ID doctor (Dr Durham) is a card! He did all kinds of blood cultures and tests on me to make sure the PICC line was not a source of infection. His background is paramedic then RN then MD. He thinks we worked together on 5-west when I first got out of school. Definitely, he's seen it all.... and he's got the best bedside manner that rivals Dr Knowlton. I was blessed with excellent doctors this hospital stay - they were all fantastic! Zooming to today.... balance and muscle strength still are awful, and I am still dependent on the walker. I fell this morning (#37)... just lost my balance and fell on my butt. 5 months ago, I had a lot of padding back there, but I am losing weight steadily, and my booty still hurts from it. ........... The picture is from Flickr by a photograpger named Patrick Lavin. Its an angel from a cemetary, and I think she's so beautiful. Some photographers play around in photoshop and tint their photos blue or red, etc. This one is untouched and just stunning!