Immigration cartoon :)

New Fairy art!

Finally, its done - the 1950's Fairy! I've been working on this one off and on, and I put if off due to all the work I put in on the Fractured Fairy (still unfinished). Just so glad its completed, and I'm free to move onto other projects! --- I recently discovered a musical playlist in which I placed on my Zazzle About Me page. I'm probably the only one who listens to it, and I keep a window open while I'm working on the computer. SO glad to finally have music again! My unfortunate sister borrowed two boom boxes and a stereo from me in the past, and has never replaced them... or even offered to. In her world, its "all about me." Oh well, that complete chaos is not something I choose to deal with again. She's caused enough damage to the entire family already. Why would I allow that back into my life? No thanks.

trying out new banners

CLICK HERE - FOLKARTBLONDE GALLERY @ ZAZZLE!

Life & Death

Jodi and I both arrived home, respectively, from the hospital today. I think she was a little more worse for the wear than I was though. I'm SO glad she's home, and doing well. I know the kiddies are very happy to see her, although they had a fab time with Grandma Jean. :) There seems to be a new dimension added to the game of Battleship. "Is it logic, a guess, or mental telepathy?" Never again will it be the same at the Nicholson household...lol I just wish that I had been well enough to be there with them the whole time. As it turned out, that wasnt to be the case, but I'm kinda glad in a way. Mom was able to get to know her grandchildren without any interference on my part. Things always have a way of working out the way they're supposed to. ... I had some very nice nurses this time around. One of them took some time to ask a lot of questions and try and understand whats been going on with me, and that I will be forever grateful. I did some long and hard thinking while I was there, and came to a few decisions that I have been mulling over for the last year. My life is what it is, and there is no way out of this mess. The party is over. Next week, I will begin the process of gathering important papers together, so everything will be in order for when the inevitable happens. I dont plan on continuing this torture any longer than I have to. No dialysis. No new kidney. No more dealing with dysfunctional people and situations. No more being duped by people who pretend to love me. I've been on borrowed time for longer than I should have. People waste such precious time.... Time to go home.

Jodi

Today was Jodi's surgery... talked to John a little bit ago, and everything went superb! She's awake and well and happy!!! He sounds like he's in good spirits, and with very good reason. :) Mom and I were at their house this morning at 11am, and watched the kids. They are too cute! Cat's prayer chain must've worked wonders. Here's the link: http://www.prophecyfellowship.org/showthread.php?p=3981508#post3981508 :):)

I won an award!!

Fiona Long has awarded me the Thinking Blogger Award!

How cool! Fiona is a dear friend whom I met on flickr.com last summer. I've been off that site for a while since I was so sick last year, but lately I've steadily been making my way back there. Anyway, Fiona is a wonderful person and a fantastic artist! You can visit her web site here: http://fionalongart.co.uk/archives/thinking-blogger-award! Be sure to see all of her artwork - its so worth it! Now, my mission (associated with the duties of this upstanding award) is to locate 5 other blogs that I think highly of. See below...

Here is a link as to what the Thinking Blogger Award is all about! http://www.thethinkingblog.com/2007/02/thinking-blogger-awards_11.html

Fiona listed my blog as: "An insight into the incredible power of art over adversity." :):)

Here are my 5 choices for the Thinking Blogger Award:

1. http://www.pgcork.blogspot.com/ - Penny Cork has the ability to suck you into her stories from word 1. Her blog is a real treat, and a must-read. Check out her art on Zazzle & CafePress!

2. http://cheriesartsncrafts.blogspot.com/ Cherie has a great sense of humor and a bubbly personality. Its hard not to smile when you read her blog. See her art Zazzle, Etsy, & CafePress!

3. http://www.captphrank.blogspot.com/ Capt Phrank is a riot! His blog describes his ongoing backyard renovation project. This man is a true artist through & through. See his art on Zazzle!

4. http://hubpages.com/profile/Moonmaiden This lady has so many interests in the world of arts & crafts, its hard to keep up with her! Click on her photo tag map for the topic of choice!

5. http://meloearth.blogspot.com/ Cris Melo is an extremely talented artist, and one of my favorites of all time! Her entertaining blog is a mixture of art and life. See her art on eBay!

my little brother & sister-in-law

I talked to both John and Jodi today. Jodi is knocking out her to-do list for her surgery. Hair beautification was today, and I think toes and nails are tomorrow. I dont think her surgery is until late afternoon on Tuesday, so at least they dont have to roll out of bed and be down there by 0-dark-30. Thats a plus! I hope they give her happy drugs, so her stomach wont remember she hasnt eaten all day...lol The conversation turned to the latest insanity going on in our family. She said its nothing new, and that it wasnt a stressor anymore - just frustrating that if only he had communicated in a fatherly fashion all along... we wouldnt be having these problems today. I agree 100% with her. It seems the 3 of us are on the same page about everything. I cant, for the life of me, figure out why the "others" cant seem to think straight and without prejudice on this. Mom has been so cool about it all, especially when I explained my he said/she said story that happened to me when I first separated from Rafael (that concept is still going on, but its only because my ex-husband is a pathological liar). I told her we dont care what he has to say, especially since this is the only time he has chosen to communicate about anything from the past. Now all of a sudden, his manhood/fatherhood has been questioned (once again), and he wants to blame the fact that he was absent from our lives on my mother??? Thats priceless. Anyone want popcorn?? Because he never dealt and learned from his own past, he is in the process of repeating it. (We were never allowed to meet and get to know HIS father.) I also realize he's acting just like a liberal. He cant debate (talk about) the issues on its merits, so he has to resort to name-calling and pointing the finger away from the true issues. Again, priceless. He's never been able to admit that he was or has been wrong about anything in his life, and he certainly isnt going to start now. I would like to know one thing....well, maybe a few. Why did he leave and not say a word to his own children when he walked out? What was he doing for the next 2 years when we received sporadic cards from him, but other than that - zero contact? Dating other women? Where was he living the whole time? Why didnt he help Mom around the house and with the kids? Why didnt he change a single diaper? Where was he when I needed college and career choice advise? Boyfriend advise? learned to drive a car? etc etc etc. I guess the list could go on forever. He made the comment that his father never showed up at his games or graduations, and he turned out ok. Really? You think so? I disagree, and besides... just because your father did that, doesnt make it acceptable or appropriate behavior for any father to act like that towards a child. In my book, its called neglect. I'm amazed we turned out as well as we did. Kathie is successfull with her own family. Lisa was successful in the art of partying and sucking the life force out of people and then hunting for her next victim. I was successful administering to the sick, despite overwhelming obstacles and odds. And, John was graced with a beautiful wife, 4 kiddies, and a loving set of inlaws who helped groom him to where he is today in business. Mom has a lot to be proud of. We're not perfect, by any means, but she did the best she could with being left holding the bag to carry all by herself. Still, there are so many unanswered questions that have been locked away inside all 4 of the siblings, and have never been discussed. He wonders why we all have so much anger... John and I are done. Done with a capital D. We both realize he's never going to change, or come to his senses. Toxic people are just that - toxic, whether they are family or not. So, unless dad & lisa have an epiphany one day about reality... there's really nothing to talk about anymore. John also made an excellent point. Maureen said they're moving to Canton. John said, "Gosh, thats another hour & 45 minutes away from us." He knows if they were truly interested in being an involved part of the family, they would move closer not further away. For him, that was another nail in the coffin of this dysfunctional and dead family. I told him today that we (Mom, Amy, & John) just needed to start today on building a strong family support system for ourselves, and quit the notion of thinking the others would start acting normal and be truly interested in getting involved on a regular basis. I think he agreed!! You know, John...lol Anyway... thats that. --- I'm getting weaker and weaker by the day. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow, and ask if he'll go ahead and put me in the hospital. Just how bad do I have to get, and how much do I have to suffer before I get more medicine? The medical director of my insurance company is a crook. I dont know how he sleeps at night.... How many more people are waiting for treatment, just like me, because of their desire for higher profits? Its all so insane. This afternoon, I emailed Bill O'Reilly that I had something for him to use on his show. I hope he contacts me!!

Joy, joy, and more "oh joy:

I finally finished my Level 2 Appeal for my insurance company. I mailed 3 of them off this past Saturday. John W. Oxendine's copy went off on Monday. 2 more copies will be hand delivered on Thursday. What a relief that its done! They have 30 days from July 9th to make their decision. If you ask me, after getting together a total of 150 pages... it was an awesome "college thesis," and I have a good feeling that they will do the right thing and overturn my denial determination. I gave them scores of hospital notes, MD notes, clinical policy bulletins, 2 letters from physicians, and a 7 page personal letter explaining the complexity of my situation. Its going to take someone with a vast amount of knowledge in the specialties of neurology and nephrology to understand it. A generic clinical reviewer or a generic family practice physician is unqualified and unacceptable. Not only do I want my case approved... I want them to change their outdated policy on paying for this drug with CIDP. I hope to God no one else has to go through what I've been through with them. Its clear abuse, because of greed, from a company to their members. Bill O'Reilly just took on Michael Moore and his insane advocation for socialized medicine tonight on The Factor. Bill was also talking about the need to end the abuses faced by people with health insurance by their plans. I think I'll mail him a copy of this appeal, because it does a great job of outlining the difficulties so many of us face. Glad I made an extra copy... :) ... I was asked by my brother today to write a letter (or call) on his behalf over a conversation he had with my stepmom about some past family events. I obliged. I received an email reply back, and now... because we (John and I) have concerns over past and present family issues.... we are now labeled "people with dysfunctional DNA" by our father. The defintion of a bigot is: a prejudiced person who is intolerant of another's views. I think that applies in this case. Because I voiced opposition to their support of my sister, who has wreaked havoc in our lives for years, and because I am finally speaking up about actions, words, and events surrounding my parent's divorce and beyond... I am now an awful, evil person. I wonder if either one of them ever stops to think about the big picture - doubt it. I'm really tired of hinting around for "issues" to be discussed within our family, and not one person has any desire to join in all the fun. We, as a family unit, are a lost cause. I hate to be a "Harry Reid-er" on this, but after 25+ years of this mess continuing on and on and on... I cant do it anymore. According to my father, everyone is to blame, but himself. I'm not buying into that load of bull. John said that dad wants to be a mediator in a family discussion concerning a deal between Lisa and Mom. Ain't gonna happen. Raise your hand if you think an ex-husband would or could be fair and impartial when it comes to ANY topic where his ex-wife is concerned. Not! So, the beat goes on.... but not for long though, at least where I'm concerned. I've got other plans for my life.

--- The doctor found another skin cancer, and I have more surgery on Friday to have it removed. This will be the 3rd one in 3 weeks. :( --- I'm probably going back in the hospital again on Friday or Monday for more medicine. Last weekend, I almost went in emergently because I was really going downhill fast. I was VERY weak and shaky. This evening I almost went in emergently because of severe abdominal pains, but I held off going due to Pepto. It made it bearable. My stomach is quivering right now, and I cant sleep because of it. I am just a physical mess these days. Lea said it best. "You cant seem to catch a break these days!" --- Jodi's surgery day is Tuesday, and I have been praying for her in advance that all goes well. I think John is having a tough time with it, and i believe he's using a few distractions to get through it all. Dont know for sure, but thats my guess. At any rate, she is doing the best thing for herself, husband, and children, and I couldnt admire her more then I do right now. She's very brave! I hope the kids sail through this experience. I know Mom has PLENTY of experience of saying positive things when it comes to health matters, and I know she's an expert at talking to children. Those 2 abilities combined should help her help the kids should they ask questions when Jodi is in the hospital for 4 days. I hope I am well enough to help out. That all remains to be seen.

Happy 4th of July!!

Happy 4th of July!!!!