I talked to both John and Jodi today. Jodi is knocking out her to-do list for her surgery. Hair beautification was today, and I think toes and nails are tomorrow. I dont think her surgery is until late afternoon on Tuesday, so at least they dont have to roll out of bed and be down there by 0-dark-30. Thats a plus! I hope they give her happy drugs, so her stomach wont remember she hasnt eaten all day...lol The conversation turned to the latest insanity going on in our family. She said its nothing new, and that it wasnt a stressor anymore - just frustrating that if only he had communicated in a fatherly fashion all along... we wouldnt be having these problems today. I agree 100% with her. It seems the 3 of us are on the same page about everything. I cant, for the life of me, figure out why the "others" cant seem to think straight and without prejudice on this. Mom has been so cool about it all, especially when I explained my he said/she said story that happened to me when I first separated from Rafael (that concept is still going on, but its only because my ex-husband is a pathological liar). I told her we dont care what he has to say, especially since this is the only time he has chosen to communicate about anything from the past. Now all of a sudden, his manhood/fatherhood has been questioned (once again), and he wants to blame the fact that he was absent from our lives on my mother??? Thats priceless. Anyone want popcorn?? Because he never dealt and learned from his own past, he is in the process of repeating it. (We were never allowed to meet and get to know HIS father.) I also realize he's acting just like a liberal. He cant debate (talk about) the issues on its merits, so he has to resort to name-calling and pointing the finger away from the true issues. Again, priceless. He's never been able to admit that he was or has been wrong about anything in his life, and he certainly isnt going to start now. I would like to know one thing....well, maybe a few. Why did he leave and not say a word to his own children when he walked out? What was he doing for the next 2 years when we received sporadic cards from him, but other than that - zero contact? Dating other women? Where was he living the whole time? Why didnt he help Mom around the house and with the kids? Why didnt he change a single diaper? Where was he when I needed college and career choice advise? Boyfriend advise? learned to drive a car? etc etc etc. I guess the list could go on forever. He made the comment that his father never showed up at his games or graduations, and he turned out ok. Really? You think so? I disagree, and besides... just because your father did that, doesnt make it acceptable or appropriate behavior for any father to act like that towards a child. In my book, its called neglect. I'm amazed we turned out as well as we did. Kathie is successfull with her own family. Lisa was successful in the art of partying and sucking the life force out of people and then hunting for her next victim. I was successful administering to the sick, despite overwhelming obstacles and odds. And, John was graced with a beautiful wife, 4 kiddies, and a loving set of inlaws who helped groom him to where he is today in business. Mom has a lot to be proud of. We're not perfect, by any means, but she did the best she could with being left holding the bag to carry all by herself. Still, there are so many unanswered questions that have been locked away inside all 4 of the siblings, and have never been discussed. He wonders why we all have so much anger... John and I are done. Done with a capital D. We both realize he's never going to change, or come to his senses. Toxic people are just that - toxic, whether they are family or not. So, unless dad & lisa have an epiphany one day about reality... there's really nothing to talk about anymore. John also made an excellent point. Maureen said they're moving to Canton. John said, "Gosh, thats another hour & 45 minutes away from us." He knows if they were truly interested in being an involved part of the family, they would move closer not further away. For him, that was another nail in the coffin of this dysfunctional and dead family. I told him today that we (Mom, Amy, & John) just needed to start today on building a strong family support system for ourselves, and quit the notion of thinking the others would start acting normal and be truly interested in getting involved on a regular basis. I think he agreed!! You know, John...lol Anyway... thats that. --- I'm getting weaker and weaker by the day. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow, and ask if he'll go ahead and put me in the hospital. Just how bad do I have to get, and how much do I have to suffer before I get more medicine? The medical director of my insurance company is a crook. I dont know how he sleeps at night.... How many more people are waiting for treatment, just like me, because of their desire for higher profits? Its all so insane. This afternoon, I emailed Bill O'Reilly that I had something for him to use on his show. I hope he contacts me!!
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