Why I Stopped Doing Commissions

I was taking a break from painting today, and started reading my "daily painting tips" emails that have been building up like Legos in my inbox... when I ran across this post in an art forum:

I'm in the middle of a commision piece and I've completely lost all interest in finishing it. It sits there staring at me every time I go into my studio space and I just can't make myself work on it anymore. Has any one experienced this before and got back on track? I don't have a deadline for it but it just makes me feel guilty every time I see it and chose to do something else.

This has happened to me more times than I care to admit! lol Unless someone has asked for a duplicate (painting it exactly the way I did it the first time), then I'm fine. If they are asking for a new creative vision, I get a stomachache. How can I possibly see inside their head?! lol Sooooo, in order to circumvent the gastric ulcer formation, I take "suggestions," or just say NO like Nike advocates. Works for me.

The Santa BoBo Christmas greeting card design has been reworked in PSP - finally! Zazzle has given us the power to delete our own products. I am slooooowly redoing the designs, and trying my best to make them a little more snazzy. Check him out... link below, in case you feel like purchasing. :)

Santa BoBo - Black Cat Christmas greeting card (2) by folkartblonde Get this custom card at Zazzle

A HUGE round of thanks is in order for my friend, Sean, on Zazzle. He has been working hard on designing marketing banners for me, and they have turned out fantastic! Check 'em out below. Sean, if you're reading this... THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU!!

My last visit to the Neurologist

Last Wedneday, I had an appointment with my fairly new neurologist for this damn CIDP diagnosis. Last summer, when I was first diagnosed, he happened to be on call for my doctor, and I thought he was brilliant. He sat down for about 20 minutes in my hospital room and explained what was going on with me. I really appreciated the time he took, and the level of knowledge he seemed to possess. Well, now that I have been forced to switch to him due to insurance reasons, the scenario is quite different. I was in his office for about 45 minutes, and I walked away more frustrated than ever before. Its like getting a bill through Congress in trying to make him understand my symptoms, and how to treat them effectively. Since this past summer, I've been getting 1/2 the dose I normally get (from my old doctor), and its just not enough. I'm much weaker in my legs, arms, and hands, and my balance is so off, I look like a drunk trying to walk down an alley sometimes. There's a whole laundry list of other symptoms, that I wont go into, but suffice to say... I'm not getting enough IVIG to function at my best.... if there is a "best" in this life I call a living hell. I cant imagine any of my family and friends would be so selfish as to want this daily torture for me. I'm only going to be able to stand it for so long. If the doctors cant get their act together, and help me not feel like shit 90% of the time, then I'm going to take the matter into my own hands. I've had all I can stand of this life. CIDP is torture, but there are also other categories in my life that are never going to improve or change for the better. My family is in shambles. There is no support for anyone except when Mom is involved. I believe that John, Mom, and I are trying to make it better for us 3, but the rest of the members.... pride, mental illness, alcoholism, and just a downright refusal to admit mistakes and apologize and/or foster and maintain relationships are the obstacles. Sooner or later, there is going to be a really bad reason for my family to come together, but by then it will be too late. My only hope is that the event will jump start the process of healing for everyone. I dont have much faith that will happen. Time will tell though. My finances are another story. I cant afford IVIG, even with two insurances. I pay $1,000/month for health insurance. I'll never have my own place, and will be forced to live in that dark and depressing house. Dont get me wrong, I'm grateful for everything Mom has done for me... but I feel like a caged bird with broken wings thrown in a dark dungeon. I'd LOVE to have small apartment, so that I can have a dog... and be able to talk on the phone without "people" listening in on my business, etc etc etc. Its called Freedom. And, I crave and require it. Well, enough bitch-moaning and complaining for 1 session. I feel better getting it off my chest, if anything. Here's to another day of misery - cheers!

Week of the Heebie Jeebies & poetry

I spent a wonderful week with my nieces and nephews, who I can officially call, and with great affection, my little heebie jeebies. Jodi came through her time away from home beautifully. John was a little tired with only a little red around his eyeballs for the wear. Each child has their own beauty inside and out, and after spending such quality time with all of them... one favorite was not to be found, instead I discovered that they all were. I had a 4-day reprieve from the cage in which I live - trapped in body and circumstance on a daily basis. Now, its back to the same old grind. ... Due to another passive-aggressive maneuver within the caging walls of this house, I retreated to my fish bowl room, and read poetry online. Here's my attempt:

I'm sick and tired, and tired of being sick...
why does God think I can stand even one more lick?

The clock keeps ticking, its heavy on my heart,
from this hateful world I long to depart.
Tears and anger and guilt and dread,
emotions pile up way over my head.
I yearn for the time when my illusions were real,
at that tender age I was able to feel.
Bomb after bomb, emotional pain has exploded,
damage reports show that my heart has unloaded.
I dont see an end to this merciless state,
as I plod slowly circular in this passion-free fate.

I'm sick and tired, and tired of being sick...
will God deny me the favor of even one more kick?

Boycott Miller Brewing Company

Its past time for the majority in America to stand up and put a stop to the disgusting behavior of the Miller Brewing Company. Not only do they support illegal alien protests, they sponsored the “Folsom Street Fair” in San Francisco, billed as the “world’s largest leather event.” I'm all for people having the freedom to do what they want, as long as they arent hurting anybody or breaking the law, but this is ridiculous. Take a look at the ad promo for this event. This foul poster depicts the Last Supper as a bunch of S&M'ers with sex toys, instead of bread and wine. And, the MBC thinks this was a great idea to have their name associated with this? alienating the majority of Americans who are Christians? You can rest assured that I wont be giving my hard earned money to this company... because of their position on both issues aformentioned. We, as a nation, have completely lost all sight of whats morally right and wrong. It makes me sick to my stomach when I see pictures, such as the one above and below. Some lunatic thought it was a-ok to bring their CHILD, dressed in S&M leather fashion, to this event. Incredible. That poor baby doesnt stand a chance in hades with wacko parents like that. BOYCOTT the MBC!

Another new Xmas Angel Card @ Zazzle

We FINALLY have the capability to delete our own products at Zazzle! WoooHOOOO! I spent the afternoon cleaning Zazzle house. Out with the old, and in with the new. I didnt have a clue as to what I was doing at Zazzle when I first started last November. I still dont...lol, but at least I have some experience under my belt. I am now taking some of my old art pieces, and redesigning them in PSP. See below for another Christmas Angel card I made for this holiday season. Mom just bought the one I was going to use, so now I've got to come up with another one fast! See below for the possibility...

Christmas Angel & Stars - holiday card (2) by folkartblonde
Get this custom card at Zazzle

New Christmas Angel holiday card on Zazzle

I just created a new holiday card... a Christmas Angel based on a recent angel collage painting of mine. I think it turned out very cool, and I think I succeeded in combining festive colors with the colors already in the artwork. See below! If you like, click on the link and order some for yourself for this year's Christmas card. The more you order, the bigger your discount grows! Tell 'em folkartblonde sent you. :)

Blonde Christmas Angel - xmas greeting card
by folkartblonde
Get this custom card at Zazzle

Thursday (posting late) and TLOFA new ebay group

Today was jam-packed, and I made it through without falling, although I came close a few times. I had lunch with Karen at Pastis' in historic Roswell. Had a very nice time, and its always good to see her. I hope to hear that she's feeling better in the next few days... she's had enough going on without adding "not feeling good" to the list. Then, Mom and I met back at the house to go shopping. My transmission light came on again when we were halfway to our first 2 stops (Dick Blick and Staples), and so we drove back home to switch cars. Drove down to NorthPoint Mall, where I had some major returning to do. I have to buy clothes online these days because I'm unable to lift the wheelchair in and out of the car by myself. I wasnt too confident of my legs, since I fell 2 days ago, so we thought bringing the WC was the best bet. I FINALLY found some shoes that are easy to get off and on, and they're stylish, too! While Mom was in Williams-Sonoma, I rolled off to the Godiva shoppe and bought her some chocolate as a thank you for taking me, and then I also found 2 very nice smelly Yankle candles that I gave to her to use in the den and kitchen. She liked both of them. The house is going to smell great! The only other treat I wasnt able to get was the decorative metal grate that goes on top to keep the candle sides from turning black. I'll just order that online for her. WE also made a quick pit stop for some artsy magazines at Hobby Lobby, then finished our day off by getting salads at Brookwood Grille. Yum! By the time we did all of that, my body was about to raise a surrender flag. I hurt all over, my muscles were getting very weak, and my imbalance issues were at full throttle. It's almost 2am, and I still cant sleep because I still hurt (even though I've taken all of my medicines.) I'll just sleep in tomorrow! --- A few days ago, I joined the neatest ebay group called TLOFA: The Ladies of Folk Art. They are all so nice, and I'm really glad to be a part of them. See their banner above! I've been trying to play catchup by reading past posts, and also trying to meet everyone and stay current. Its been a lot of fun so far meeting everyone, and their discussions are spurring me onto to learn new art forms... doll-making, particularly. Ok, my eyeballs just hit the keyboard. Time for sleepy ni-ni..........

a new look & some rantings

This blog just got a facelift! ... This afternoon, I fell for the first time in 4 months. My legs just gave out on me, and they have been getting progressively weaker all evening. My neurologist hasnt been exactly helpful, since I started seeing him this summer, and I'm not looking forward to giving his office a call in the morning. #1, he doesnt listen, and #2, his nurse is rude on the phone. I'm just ready to give up on everything. Sometimes I wonder if this life is all about seeing how much shit a person can take before they crack wide open. It's always amazed me why some people seem to glide through life without anything major happening to them, and others get the full dustpan of crap hitting the fan day after day. It's all relative, I guess. Speaking of relatives... let's just say I have a Mom and a brother. Thats about it for family support. It's a good thing in many ways. I'm too tired to deal with either their behavior or refusal to deal with reality on sensitive subjects. It's hopeless. On a side note, I've noticed that I've gone from capitalizing the word "life," to not doing so. Hmmmmm... I wonder what Freud would say about that. One thing I do know for sure... something bad is going to happen, sooner or later, and its going to force the members of my family to come together. Whether the forced reunion will wake everyone up is another story.

Angel of Grace Zazzle products

Here's a sample greeting card from my Angel of Grace Zazzle product line. Click on the card or links below to see them all and my entire Zazzle gallery!

Angel of Grace - greeting card
by

folkartblonde

Get this custom card
at Zazzle

new Angel of Grace art

Here's the latest in my angel aeries. I've dubbed her the Angel of Grace. It seems to fit, as I find her facial expression so peaceful and serene. I will be listing her on ebay today, and I've also created some COOL products over at Zazzle on cards, shirts, mousepads, mugs, etc. To see those and others that I have available, visit my Zazzle gallery! Some are on the gallery front page, some are listed under the product category "New Products," and the rest of the angels are listed under "Angels, Faeries, and Queens." They make great Christmas gifts, so be sure to check 'em out.

Breast Cancer Site

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on 'donating a mammogram' for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors /advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

countdown

Only a little over a month left to go till the big day. Finally, something to look forward to...

Queen art digitally-enhanced

I kinda think its pretty cool to add this digital effect to this painting! Once Zazzle lets us edit and delete our own products, I'll be making some major changes to some products. I dont want to lose my TBS's, other awards, but most of all... the wonderful comments people have left for me on them. This digitally enhanced version won a Today's Best on Zazzle for the greeting card product! I love getting those, as it lets me know there's someone out there who appreciates my ork as much as my Mom does ...lol I'm about to list the REGAL QUEEN on ebay this week, probably Wednesday. I hope the ebayers love her as much as I do! In the works, I've got a couple of cats (been working on new faces and such to add along with BoBo), nurses, and more angels. Its going slowly, no doubt. Life has been such a drag lately...

Nancy

Nancy left on Sunday for St. Louis... probably for good. I am really down about it. I hope she comes back, as she's been the best friend anyone could ever ask for. - Here's another new piece of art thats up for auction on ebay right now. I used plenty of glazes... layers upon layers... for this background, and it has great depth to it. Of course, its much better in person, as the pictures dont do it justice. I'm really liking this collage-type art. Its helped me try a lot of new things and ideas... most of which are still on the drawing board. Lots of fun! I havent decided whether to put this image on Zazzle yet, but check out the rest of my artsy products there: Click here!, and if you'd like, click on the following link to see this piece in my ebay store: http://www.folkartblondegallery.com.